This is my first time being photographed by a boudoir photographer IRL! I did a cam sesh with Teri Hofford, and was photographed by my friend and family photographer Chelsea (Hashtag Memories) but this is my first photoshoot in real life with a professional boudoir photographer.
I have known this day would come eventually, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t nervous! I thought this experience was so insightful. I got to experience first hand, what my clients experience when they come to my studio. When I first set the date, I was empowered and felt confident. Hell yes! As the days disappeared, and the date approached, I started to feel anxiety creeping in. What should I wear? How long will it take to get there with traffic? Am I selfish for wanting to do this for myself? And then the week before, I hyper focused on my body. My tummy looks way more bloated than normal. My eyes look so tired. Why did I want to do this in the first place? I skipped meals, and I spent more time looking in the mirror and doubting myself. It was not a good week.
The day of, my nerves subsided a bit, and then increased as I felt my deodorant failing me, my armpits sweaty in my sunny car. Oh fuck. I thought. I am a hot mess.
But as soon as I met Maggie from The Delicate Studio, all my anxiety disappeared. She’s bubbly and excited, and bounces around the room. She showed me photos from the back of the camera, which was really helpful! Her. Studio. Is. The. Shit. It’s got great light, and major industrial vibes. You all def need to book a shoot with her.
When the photos came back, I was really happy. All the stupid stuff I worried about wasn’t visible in the photos. Maybe next time, I won’t be so hard on myself leading up to the shoot.
Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite because I don’t see flaws in other people, but I hyper focus on my own. Some days, I feel like the toll of comparison isn’t worth the joy of being a photographer, but then I’ll have a client tear up in the studio when she’s sees her images, and it puts everything into perspective, at least for a day.
The best part was just meeting Maggie and making a new photographer friend. Love always wins. Don’t ask yourself if you are good enough to do something. Ask yourself if something is good enough for you to try.